With all respect to Ned Umber, there were no major deaths on what most would say was the most anticipated season premiere in television history.
But there were a few major revelations.
None more pressing than the little nugget Samwell passed along to his very best friend, Jon Snow, who finally knows something…
… yet likely wishes he did not.
Indeed, Jon now knows that he’s the little nugget of Lyanna Stark and Rhaegar Targaryen.
He’s Aegon Targaryen, the rightful heir to the Iron Throne and the person to whom all residents of the Seven Kingdoms ought to be bowing down… not that misguided, very attractive and occasionally homicidal Mother of Dragons.
That should make for some awkward pillow talk the next time these two fly off to some snow-covered caves and waterfalls, huh?
“We could stay a thousand years. No one would find us,” Dany told her lover (and, ummm, nephew) about halfway through the season premiere, as the episode really tried to drive home the love these two blood relatives feel for one another.
Will Jon tell Dany the truth?
Will she respond by making (n)ice or with some serious fire?
This was the key takeaway from a premiere that spent most of its time moving everyone into place for war.
Just like the other main revelation from the premiere (Jaime seeing that Bran is very much alive and, in his own way, doing quite well), however, it was something the audience already knew.
Yes, it’s exciting to think of where things will go now that Jon and Dany both think they have a claim to the Throne.
And who out there isn’t psyched to see Jaime issue a “yo, totally my bad, but you caught me f-cking my sister” to Bran?
But still: When there are only six total episodes remaining on the most popular drama of all-time, it’s fair for some fans to feel annoyed that no one really died on this premiere and no stunning truths were revealed to the viewers.
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Elsewhere, though, the return installment clearly tried to give fans what they wanted after Game of Thrones took all of 2018 off.
Dany and Jon went on a dragon ride!
Arya reunited with her quasi sibling!
And asked for a speciasl Dragonglass weapon!
And got to trash talk the Hound!
Sansa met (and stared down) Dany!
Euron got to be all arrogant and sexy, while getting into Cersei’s pants at last!
Theon rescued his sister and journeyed back to Winterfell to continue his redemption arc!
And, perhaps most importantly, Cersei is settled in at King’s Landing, while nearly everyone else has arrived at Winterfell — including, very soon, The Night King.
Winter is no longer coming. It is very much here and all parties are dug in at just two locations at last, preparing for the ultimate battle and criss-crossing the Seven Kingdoms for so many years.
Was it just us, or did Game of Thrones also seem funnier than usual?
What do dragons eat? Whatever they want.
The last time we spoke was at Joffrey’s wedding. A miserable affair. It had its moments.
I don’t know how to ride a dragon. Nobody does, until they ride a dragon. What if he doesn’t want me to? Then I’ve enjoyed your company, Jon Snow.
You left me to die. First, I robbed you.
We actually laughed out loud a few times — but we don’t tune in to Game of Thrones to laugh out loud.
We tune in for bloodshed! And surprises! And broken alliances! And nudity!
And… okay, the scene with Bronn gave us a bit of the latter.
But most intriguing quote from the premiere was this, courtesy of Sam’s exchange with Jon:
You gave up your crown to save your people. Would she do the same?
That’s the most significant question as we head into yet another wildly anticipated episode next Sunday.
What did YOU think of this premiere?