Some horrible news had to be broken at the outset of The Real Housewives of New York City this week:
Due to health issues, Bethenny Frankel could not travel to Hawaii.
Therefore, the women would be heading to Miami on vacation instead.
We know, we know: How did they possibly recover from this tragic bombshell? What other #FirstWorldProblems would the group have to grapple with along the way?
“I go to Miami like I go to the bathroom to brush my teeth,” Ramona complained to the camera, while we strained to hear violins playing in the background.
Prior to taking off, Jules Wainstein joined Sonja and Ramona for a pre-trip shopping trip.
Very quickly, Singer mentioned how peeved she was over Luanna mentioning to the media that Ramona formerly dated Tom, especially because she had been wrongly referenced as Tom’s ex-lover.
“Now my current boyfriends are reading it and going, ‘What the heck?'” Ramona whined, adding that “everyone” was aware Luann typically called to report stories about herself.
That’s just pathetic, Ramona said.
As for Bethenny?
She had Dorinda, Carole Radziwill and Ramona (who was everywhere this episode!) over to her residence for a few tea sandwiches and a great deal of gossip.
After detailing how bloody she became during a recent adventure with her daughter, Frankel announced that she’d finally agreed to undergo surgery to clear up her fibroids.
Yes, she would still go to Miami. But, no, she could not manage a side trip to Luann’s West Palm Beach engagement party.
Bethenny did predict major drama between Sonja, Ramona, Luann and Tom aboard the yacht, something Carole seemed all too excited to witness for herself.
Once in Florida, Sonja, Ramona and Dorinda headed to Luann’s friend’s yacht for the big shindig.
This is where Ramona dropped the Line of the Episode in response to anyone thinking Luann and Tom went on a real first date.
“No, they didn’t go on a date!” she snapped. “She picked him up, took him home and did him that night, and has been doing him ever since.”
Then she added: “I think she’s a sex addict.”
We love it. We may have that quote framed and hung in our bedroom.
It was then time to complain about yachts and compare yachts. We really wish we were kidding.
Luann grabbed Sonja and laughed about how amazing the yacht was, which prompted the latter to later say:
“No offense to Luann, but don’t even mention this yacht in the same sentence as my ex-husband’s yacht. It’s in a totally different league, but it’s just wonderful to be included, and kudos to Luann that we are even on a yacht.”
More #FirstWorldProblems for these poor people.
Tension then built after Luann joked about Sonja sleeping with her and Tom, while Dorinda made her co-star angry when telling Luann how Ramona was unhappy about those statements to the press about her past with Tom.
“Nobody’s going to ruin my evening, and nobody’s going to ruin my life with Tom,” Luann responded. “He wasn’t dating Ramona. She’s an idiot.”
But no one was more upset about the awkward situation than Morgan, who said of Tom:
“I lost a companion, a lover and a dinner date.”
Yes, though, she would “suck it up” for Luann and be a good friend.
Bethenny, meanwhile, wasn’t even there. But she still had plenty to say about Tom to a friend in Miami:
“Someone sent me a series of texts that are so incriminating that I can’t imagine how it wouldn’t blow up this whole engagement. This could possibly mean the wedding will be cancelled.”
What did the texts say?
Alas, you’ll need to watch The Real Housewives of New York City online or on Bravo next week to find out. What a tease!